The Internet is full of information about crying babies, so-called “high-needs” babies, babies who challenge their parents because they have so many needs. I am a baby psychologist and these babies are much less worrying than very (too) calm babies. Why? Because a baby who moans, protests, screams, cries is a baby who is doing his job as a baby. He works to actively signal his needs so that an adult can respond to them. He works to make us act for him. It is tiring for adults, annoying sometimes, it can be good to support the parents of these babies so that they do not crack, but, all in all, these are babies who know how to do so that we do not forget them.
I am much more worried and I listen much more when someone tells me about an easy-going, very well-adjusted and autonomous baby, who seems to need no one. It is strange, a human baby cannot survive alone. How can we explain that he is so discreet? Why wouldn’t he need an adult as much as the others?
To understand, we need to dig a little deeper.
The baby’s defensive repertoire
The baby’s defensive repertoire, that is to say the behaviors that signal to us that the baby is in difficulty, is initially quite limited. The baby actually only has two behaviors programmed into the genetics of our species: protest behaviors, of which crying is a part, and relational withdrawal behavior.
Protest behaviors are well known. They are clear about the fact that the baby needs us and easily detectable, because they push us to act by their noisy and unpleasant nature.
Relational withdrawal behavior
Relational withdrawal behavior is, for its part, much more difficult to perceive. It is also more serious when it appears in the baby over a prolonged period.
Relational withdrawal behavior is a hollow behavior, it is an absence of behavior that should normally be there. These are babies who look less, vocalize and cry less, who explore less. These are babies who can resort to small, strange and repetitive gestures that signal their inner stress, but who do not make noise. These are non-demanding, autonomous, quiet babies, disengaged and whose underlying distress is not always perceived.
Relational withdrawal behavior appears when the baby’s ability to adapt to his environment is exceeded. He cannot do it so he goes into standby mode. It is an economic waiting position that is biologically programmed in our species. The baby will wait for his environment to evolve, for his development to allow him access to new skills. He withdraws, goes into standby mode, in an economic position, because a baby cannot remain in perpetual protest in an environment that does not sufficiently meet his needs. It would be too costly energetically and dangerous for his survival.
We can thus see that prolonged relational withdrawal behavior signals an existing difficulty for the baby. This can be of organic origin: the baby may have a sensory deficiency, chronic pain, autistic syndrome, prematurity, etc. The origin can also be relational. The baby is put in difficulty in interactions with his caregivers. These can be prevented for physical reasons (prolonged absence, handicap, illness) or psychological reasons (maternal depression, domestic violence, particularly difficult socio-economic conditions, parental trauma).
Relational withdrawal signals a risk for development
As a result, prolonged relational withdrawal is an important element of the baby’s semiology to know, because it appears in connection with real difficulties of the baby, early psychopathology and it signals a risk for development.
Moreover, this behavior of relational withdrawal was first highlighted by research on the lack of early care and the effects of separation in babies. The babies of René Sptiz, famous baby psychoanalysis (link to videos) did not cry much. John, filmed by James and Joyce Roberston in the 1960s, stopped crying after a few days of separation from his parents (video link). He had not gotten used to it, he was in relational withdrawal. Similarly, reports on Romanian orphanages or any place where babies suffer physically or psychologically do not resonate with baby cries, but with too much silence. Crying, protesting is a costly behavior, the baby still has energy and hope of getting a response. When relational withdrawal is prolonged, the baby saves his energy and has little hope of getting a response from his environment.
Learning to identify relational withdrawal at the very beginning of its establishment therefore appears necessary for anyone working in relation to babies because it is essential to perceive this discreet and complex behavior. Identifying early the premises of the installation of relational withdrawal behavior allows us to act for the baby and his family, to protect the baby’s development and to stimulate his natural resilience. Identifying relational withdrawal is already intervening in favor of the child’s development.
Identifying relational withdrawal is already intervening in favor of the child’s development.
This is what the training in the use of the Baby Distress Alarm Scale (ADBB) designed by Professor Antoine Guedeney allows. This scale has won two research awards. To find out more: https://adbb-scale.com/about-early-relational-withdrawal/
The training is now available remotely so that it can be accessible to as many professionals in the field as possible. We offer several formats depending on the level of skills you wish to acquire:
- Level Initiation : presenting the notion of relational withdrawal and the ADBB scales, which allows you to quickly detect whether the baby is in psychological distress or not.
- In-depth training on the ADBB scale, which includes more items for assessing relational withdrawal, and which allows you to both detect, assess the severity and evolution of withdrawal under intervention. This remote format allows you to provide richer content, to progress together for 12 to 14 weeks and to benefit from specific and regular support from the trainer. A community allows you to break the isolation and share your skills, to deepen your learning and become fully confident in your ability to detect relational withdrawal in babies. A private certification is included.
To view the training program for initiation level, click on this link: LEARN MORE
To see the in-depth training program, click on this link: LEARN MORE
